She's JV to your varsity
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
