Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just had sex bonerless
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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