Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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