do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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