Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
