Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
