Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
