Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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