I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
