I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
