What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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