party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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