yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
