can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
