I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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