Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
