She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
