how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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