well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
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