she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
