I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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