they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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