Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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