I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
