he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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