and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
