she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
