you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Your dad touched me again.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
