then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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