You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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