The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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