: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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