There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
