Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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