so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
