He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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