She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
