I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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