Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
