I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
