Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
