I haven't been this sober since birth.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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