And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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