We won't sleep together?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
