I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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