got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
