Will you blow on my dice?
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
