i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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