Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
