her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
