I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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