Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
