I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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