Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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