you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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