What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
