you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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