dude i'm inner monologue high
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
