Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
