yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
