Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just found a bag of teeth...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
