you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
