She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
