actually, I'm a sock model
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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