I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
