We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
