Already got asked if we're dating
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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